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Post by Goodgirl68usa on Nov 4, 2002 16:23:33 GMT -5
Confusion is constantly in my head Banging from deep in my brain Craziness is what I meant, but hadn’t said It will not stop, to my great de-stain!
An alcoholic addict, that I am Feeling I am fighting all of the time, Staying sober for each moment I can Hoping my life can somehow be more sublime.
I only know as much as I know I only feel what I feel, Truth to me, is I am working so hard To know and be Brenda, Real.
Practicing honesty in everything I do Trying hard to make it day to day, Hoping and praying I make it somehow And that I will wake up one day, feeling it’s all okay.
I am not sure I will ever get to that place But I know keep trying I must, After all that I destroyed with my drugging and drinking world My job now is to rebuild my trust.
Part of the road that I must walk now Comes as a title that follows my name, And it is not one to be any kind of proud to bear In fact it brings me much humiliation and shame.
However accountability is all that I have on my side It’s my chance to prove myself again to the world, That I can once again be productive and respectable I can be held once again, at my word.
This process may take me forever I have decided that being accountable means I will try, Should I succeed the world will be a better place If I fail………well, then they will know……..I will die.
Written on: 10-13-02 By: Brenda
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